remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
