it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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