Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
