i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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