making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So many bounce houses so little time
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
