We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
