Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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