operation harelip BJ is a go
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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