sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I AM VODKA MAN
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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