I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
