between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize