its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize