i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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