You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
