idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
