conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
