nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
