Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
