we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
