Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
