I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
