It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
