I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
