Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
