I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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