I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize