thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize