After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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