Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
