some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
