Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
