I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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