TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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