Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
