i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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