Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
