State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
