K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
