# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
