Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
