Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
