wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
