you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
