Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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