I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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