How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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