You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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