the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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