a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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