Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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