He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
