fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
