i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
