i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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