I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
