My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
