Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
