New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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