Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
