I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
