i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think people are normalizing furries
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
