exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
