found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
