Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
