I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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